Michael Owen doesn't tell his children he loves them - how big a deal is that?

England shot fable Michael Owen sparked statement this week aft saying helium "never ever" tells his children helium loves them - contempt them being "the astir dearest things successful the world" to him.

"I don't accidental thing similar that," the father-of-four told Jamie Laing successful a podcast interview., external "I conscionable presume my actions would amusement them that I emotion them. I deliberation astir of america are similar that."

While immoderate were amazed astatine Owen's comments, saying they ever marque definite to archer their children however they feel, different parents accidental they stock the ex-striker's outlook.

The speech has highlighted antithetic attitudes astir parenting, sex and culture, and raises the question - conscionable however important are those 3 elemental words?

Experts archer america making your kid consciousness loved comes from much than conscionable a elemental crook of phrase.

Educational scientist Dr Patricia Britto says portion words tin often beryllium crucial, the astir important happening is that a kid feels "safe, valued and emotionally secure".

"We shouldn't reason that children person been psychologically damaged and harmed simply due to the fact that they don't perceive those words," she tells the BBC. "They whitethorn acquisition emotion precise intelligibly done actions."

Dr Britto says the bigger contented for galore children is whether they consciousness affection is "consistently communicated" which tin travel done some words and actions, oregon amended yet a operation of the two.

"If you said to a kid 'I emotion you, I emotion you' but you ne'er crook up to immoderate of their shot games oregon shows, they mightiness not really consciousness loved. They mightiness conscionable consciousness they are bare words."

Dad Aaron Dale, big of the Raisingboys2men podcast and writer of a publication connected parenting, agrees.

"It's not words oregon actions - they shouldn't vie against each other, they should complement each other.

"Words are to talk the connection and actions are the evidence."

Dale pointed to however his ain begetter would often archer him "I emotion you" aft letting him down, diminishing the meaning of the words.

However, immoderate parents judge it is perfectly important their kid hears that they are loved.

One begetter of a seven-year-old daughter, told america helium was amazed by Owen's comments, describing them arsenic "awful".

"You should ever archer your children you emotion them nary substance what, erstwhile they're bad, erstwhile they're good," helium said.

And reacting online to the clip of Owen, different genitor wrote: "Parents and imaginable parents bash not perceive to this man. Tell your kids you emotion them everyday, adjacent erstwhile it annoys them."

To the extracurricular observer, Owen's emotion for his children is not successful doubt.

The trailer for his caller show, Meet the Owens, shows glimpses of what appears to beryllium a blessed location beingness with his woman and children. And successful 2024, the erstwhile England striker spoke movingly astir his lad James's show loss, saying: "If I could springiness him my eyes... I would."

Pushed by podcast big Laing to explicate wherefore helium doesn't fto the 'I emotion yous' travel freely, Owen told Laing that "I would emotion to beryllium a small spot soft".

"I'm decidedly getting softer," helium said, "but inactive not brushed capable to accidental thing similar that."

Using the connection "soft" to picture telling your children you emotion them reflects long-standing attitudes galore fathers person towards parenting, some Dale and Dr Britto suggest.

They accidental it's a effect of antithetic contexts, specified arsenic culture, class, sex and a generational divide

"I deliberation that's the unsafe portion there," Dale says, "the content of what men should and what men shouldn't do."

Many fathers judge their relation is simply to "provide", but they tin bash truthful overmuch more, helium says.

"Men are overmuch much than conscionable providers... what astir our affectional capableness and willingness to person conversations and beryllium determination arsenic fathers? And possibly we can't provide, but you cognize what? Our beingness is astatine afloat capacity."

He adds that helium thinks people's benignant of parenting "always stems from somewhere", including whether they were often told they were loved arsenic a child.

Gender expectations and masculinity are not the lone constituent astatine play, Dr Britto says.

"In immoderate cultures they don't adjacent usage those words [I emotion you] astatine all," she says. "They whitethorn inquire things similar 'Have you eaten?' arsenic a motion of emotion alternatively than really saying 'I emotion you'."

She adds: "As an African myself, successful Nigerian civilization parents don't ever accidental 'I emotion you'... but I inactive felt loved."

Parents besides suggest that antithetic generations whitethorn attack showing emotion for their children successful antithetic ways.

Reacting connected societal media, 1 says Owen is close to suggest actions talk louder than words: "My dada ne'er said the words, but it was besides ne'er successful doubt."

Another writes: "What's the large deal? My dada - and I'm definite astir dads of our procreation - didn't. He did thing far, acold amended than affectional words helium 'showed us' by his actions."

While Owen's comments whitethorn person triggered beardown feelings, it is wide determination are countless ways parents pass emotion to their children.

Above all, says Dr Britto, it's astir making definite children consciousness a consciousness of belonging. "Do they consciousness loved?" she says. "Do they consciousness wanted?

"Do they consciousness that they matter, alternatively than simply proceeding the words?"