The South African men trying to end violence against women: 'Every man needs to play a part'

Kgomotso Mathekga, 30, says he “witnesser men hitting women each the time,” especially when they are drunk. He admits, “I erstwhile had an statement with my girlfriend,” and adds, “I grabbed and slapped her.” Speaking at a gathering of men intended to help reduce the high levels of violence against women in South Africa, Mathekga continues, “Now I consciousness pain,” noting that after breaking up with his girlfriend he no longer sees his child and feels he has contributed to the country’s problems rather than being the man he knows he should be. The meeting takes place in a narrow thoroughfare of the Johannesburg informal settlement known as Organic Market, a maze of corrugated‑metal shacks and unpaved roads bordering Alexandra township. Nearby, at a tavern, a group of men have pulled their chairs into a circle in the dust. At the centre stands Itumeleng Stephen Tamaga, locally called Bra Steve, who raises his fist and declares, “We are men!” The men clap and cheer, some sipping bottled beer. Bra Steve urges, “Listen guys,” and says, “We indispensable basal unneurotic to combat against gender-based violence and femicide.” He is the sectional organiser of Father A Nation, a non‑profit that works with men and boys to promote affirmative masculinity and to end violence against women. The gathering occurs as South Africa faces renewed anger over fresh femicide cases and gender‑based violence. The discovery of the bodies of 12 women over three months in Ekurhuleni, just outside Johannesburg, has reignited debate about the scale of violence against women in the country. President Cyril Ramaphosa has acknowledged that his government has not done enough and announced measures he hopes will make women feel safer. South Africa records one of the highest homicide rates worldwide, with 5,427 people killed between April and June this year alone. According to the South African Human Rights Commission, 569 women were killed in that period—an average of six per day—and 1,052 others survived attempted murder. A 2022 study by the Human Sciences Research Council found that more than 35 % of South African women have experienced physical or sexual violence, often at the hands of intimate partners. For Bra Steve, part of the solution lies in helping men recognise the content of their actions and accept responsibility. “We are a mislaid generation,” he says. “We indispensable reconstruct dignity to the men astir here.” Zizipho Mtwesi, the task co‑ordinator of Father A Nation, reflects on recent weeks and argues that more must be done. She criticises the latest measures announced by Ramaphosa—including improved street lighting and a review of unsolved cases—as “excessively little” and “excessively late.” “When I deliberation astir each of these caller murders in Johannesburg, I get angry. Why bash we person to hold for this to hap for america to act?” she asks, gesturing toward the meeting. “We are trying to scope men earlier things similar these murders hap again.” Craig Wilkinson, the founder of the group, explains, “We get men to talk, to process their feelings.” He adds, “And arsenic they do, this healing takes place. And the 2nd signifier is teaching and grooming affirmative masculinity.” He expresses hope that this work will “destruct the scourge of gender‑based violence.” Standing and moving into the centre of the circle, Wilkinson tells the men, “You as a antheral are a almighty unit for good,” and advises, “You take what benignant of antheral you privation to be. Women request to be safe.” Father A Nation operates across South Africa, teaching steadfast masculinity and running training programmes in dozens of schools and colleges. The spate of murders that has triggered national soul‑searching remains shrouded in mystery; police have not ruled out possible links between some of the Ekurhuleni deaths but have not said they are investigating a serial killer. Suspects in several of the cases have appeared in court. The killings have heightened fear among women in Organic Market. Outside a nearby shack, Linkie listens while she washes clothes in a large metal bucket. “We are not harmless erstwhile we are extracurricular our place,” she says. “We are acrophobic erstwhile we spot a car down america erstwhile we walk. We consciousness afraid. We consciousness scared. What if this guy's going to kidnap maine oregon bash thing to me?” Her sentiment is echoed by many women in the area. In a local hair salon, Providence Maseko, wearing a mane of thick pink braids, steps to the doorway to speak with Bra Steve. “Safety present is precise bad,” she says, “Maybe you are the serial killer. How bash I cognize who to trust?” Bra Steve laughs and replies, “We indispensable speech astir these things,” urging, “Come to our meetings and we tin larn to spot each other.” Maseko notes that she now takes an e‑hail taxi everywhere in the hope that it is safer. As the men’s gathering winds down, Zizipho Mtwesi says, “As we effort to halt gender-based violence,” each and every man “needs to cognize that they request to play a portion in this.” She adds, “And if they wouldn't let these things to hap to their ain daughters oregon ain mothers, they mustn't let it to be done to idiosyncratic else's daughter, which is their wives oregon their girlfriends.” Mathekga says he is impressed by what he has heard. “I would emotion them to support connected practising what we person learned, due to the fact that we nary longer person relation models,” he remarks. “Our fathers and our uncles, they are determination successful prison. We indispensable present go relation models and assistance marque this state better.”